‘A guys perspective’ shows the negative effects of how society grooms characteristics onto men
As boys grow up into young men, they are taught a series of things that set them aside from girls. Things like openly crying in public, or showing any signs of sadness is prohibited because society considers that a “non-boyish” thing to do. Therefore, men grow up with the idea that they cannot expose their emotions to the world because it will somehow make them appear less manly.
However, what society fails to see is that showing emotions has nothing to do with being a guy or a girl but everything to do with being a human being. As humans, we are bound to feel every emotion: from being happy to feeling gloomy and getting angry. It is all a part of being who we are, but men are unfortunately excluded from this. Thus, resulting in them suppressing their emotions and being unable to cope with how they feel.
Considering how much men have suffered because of these stereotypes, a TikToker names a series of issues that men face today in order to disprove the validity of a commonly used phrase: “men have it so much easier.”
“Man up or men don’t cry,” said Chris in his viral TikTok. “I guess we’ll bottle up our pain in fear that we get labeled a b**** by society, until it ultimately consumes our mind, which could explain why more men die from suicide.”
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide rates in American men are four times higher than amongst women, and although women are more likely to attempt suicide, men are more likely to succeed. Furthermore, approximately 10% to 17% of men will experience major depression at a certain point in their lives, which also influences the suicide rate among them tremendously.
However, most men will not be aware of their depression as it can make them feel frustrated and annoyed rather than sad. Moreover, if they do become aware of their depression, most men will not speak up because of the fear of being judged by the people around them, especially because cultural pressure has made males believe that showing despair makes them appear weak.
Therefore, they will tend to work longer hours and even participate in voluntary work in order to refrain from confronting or confessing their depressive symptoms. Their symptoms can range from headaches, stomach issues and chronic pain. In the end, such things as speaking up becomes only a one time thing because of the after effects of trusting others.
“No one bats an eye when a woman cries but stares when a man’s in despair,” said Chris. “But in rare cases where we do open up, most women will find a way to weaponize our mishaps to gossip to a girls only group chat.”
Although this statement is controversial, there is no denying that a few girls will make fun of guys’ feelings through group chats, especially if they were a thing and then suddenly broke up. Research even shows that men are typically more reliant on their significant other for emotional support since women tend to be better at providing this than men. However, once this trust and confidentiality between them is broken, men will suppress their emotions more than they did before and have greater difficulty opening up.
“My relationships have affected me more in negative ways than positive ways,” said junior Carlos Garcia Rubio. “Certain people tend to use your feelings against you in a moment when they are upset with you or they’ll just go around telling people what you’ve told them. That’s why I’m indifferent when it comes to expressing them.”
As a matter of fact, according to Dr. Gary Brown (a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles), men are usually more susceptible to shock, so the greater the shock of the loss, the more it takes to fully heal. This is the prime reason why males never really get over their past break-ups and are scared to begin another relationship. Additionally, a recent study found that break-ups take a rapid emotional toll on women, but men typically “never recover —- they simply move on.”
“I find it hard to trust people, making me feel like nobody cares and I just feel scared to have something with someone because I always end up getting hurt,” claimed Rubio.
On that account, whether it be stereotypes, cultural pressure or being ridiculed for their emotions, men are being further pushed into this unwanted masculine image that mankind set aside for them. There are even social experiments that consist of a woman abusing a man in public, and the results unfortunately say everything that has to be said about how far grooming characteristics onto men has gone.
Even after all the things that men have to encounter, Chris still admits that “women too suffer a fair share of b******t that men should begin to address.” Therefore setting a perfect example of how both genders should be held accountable for their actions.
All in all, regardless of whether people are willing to adopt this mindset or not, boys should not have to be proving their “manliness” on a daily basis, so these socially constructed expectations should be one of the many factors that society should begin to disintegrate for their prolonged and silenced anguish to end.
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She is currently a junior in high school and this is her first year on staff. Her articles are often about topics that many teens can relate to because...
